I will though, i will. I'll be doing that someday when i get some enlightenment comes from god. I do understand that this is a must for womankind but i believe that it will comes when it is the right time.Then someone would say that it is just in front of you but youre the one that playing blind, doing no effort to get that. God doing his best providing guidance for you to follow but you just sit still, ignoring things around.
I dont. Im doing my best. I know some stories, but its just, you know, theres no, until this time, such things that opens my heart. Or maybe its just me that isnt allow mine to open? But how could you manage open-closing heart things?
I know i am super confident saying "I will". "Will" is used when talking about future. I mean. Does god giving me tommorow? No one knows, except God. What if suddenly i just die tommorow? What about my parents then? No child would drag their parents to hell intentionally. Yea sure when it come talking about this, I have a big concern. I always have intention doing that, but no act following. I just do the same as before. when someone asking me why i dont, i feel like i am being deprived to do what i want to do. I also feel unfair because somebody out there also doing the same as i am but theyre just fine. And also i have this reason, which actually no one know, bcs i dont want to be unknown. Entahlah.
But now im trying to. I dont know if this will be lasting or not. But still, i havent feeling comfortable yet. Im not ready questioned by people too. Mocked by them. Ugh i really hate thinking about this. I hate figuring how will people think about this or that. I hate it bcs it will just caused me sleeplessness. Like right now. What am i doing, really, at this hour, talking rubbish. Such a rubbish post. And youre just wasting your precious time of ur life reading this rant. I sincerely apologise.
